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The “Glorious” Emails of Gov. Mark Sanford

June 27, 2009
by

not quite the family values tour

Governor Mark Sanford’s covert trip to Argentina this past week puts Stephen Colbert’s formulation of the Governor as boring as a “manila folder glued to a beige wall” into serious question. Reading over the Mark/Maria emails it seems that Governor Sanford can’t decide on an adjective other than “glorious” or on a literary voice. He’s battling between disaffected youth, regal Governor of South Carolina, and hopeless romantic.

Quoting and evidence after the jump.

Disaffected Youth:

Put differently, given I love you, I don’t want to be part of the reason you are having less than an ideal week in what sounds like a cool spot.

Sanford also devotes way too many paragraphs to sharing the movie the Holiday (admission: not as bad as it seems. Don’t we all love Jack Black! As a film composer!) with her and trying to find a song that he had played for her once. Sounds like a Say Anything moment is in order.

Regal Governor of South Carolina:

There are but 50 governors in my country.

Redeeming words after a short description of his love for his wife and family–major faux pas when emailing the mistress.

Hopeless Romantic:

my getting here came as no small measure because I had that foundation of love and support so critical to getting up in the morning and feeling you could give and risk because you already had a full tank of love in the emotional bank account. Since our first meeting there in a wind swept somewhat open air dance spot in Punta del Este

I’m going to leave the “somewhat open air dance spot” alone. I somewhat promise, gloriously. I can’t overlook the fact that Gov. Sanford is so passionate for Maria that he can’t keep his metaphors straight. Last time I had a full tank of love in my bank account, it defaulted. Maybe that explains the economic downturn.

What he meant to say is that he had a “full tank of love” in the emotional gas tank. That must be it.

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