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The fall of Western society is complete

June 30, 2009
everything any man could need, to ensure a hastier heart attack

everything any man could need, to ensure a hastier heart attack

In some ways, this should be the most perfect thing that I, as a writer of a tech blog, could want. It combines modern technology with utility and rustic charm for use in one’s home. Like if Apple made a new version the Griswolds’ car. And it’s called the Man Wall. How perfect.

Here’s a quick rundown of the specs:

  • 52″ Vizio Flat Panel LCD HDTV
  • 2 – 26″ Vizio Flat Panel LCD HDTVs
  • 1200 watt Panasonic 5.1 Home Theater System
  • DVD player with 5-CD changer
  • iPod docking station
  • 2 – Wireless surround sound speakers
  • Live 7-foot sports ticker with built-in computer
  • 1 year free service for sport’s ticker
  • Full-size built-in beer refrigerated beer keg with tap
  • 1000 watt microwave oven
  • 2 cigar humidors (holds 25 cigars each) complete with gauges
  • 32-bottle wine rack

…And all for only the price of a Ford Focus. I can’t decide if I like what Hybrid Space Furniture are trying to do with this hyper-consolidation piece, or if it represents all that is wrong with how we in America aspire to live today. I wonder how many McMansions have already pre-ordered this monstrosity? And I wonder if Joey Tribiani is partly to blame for its genesis?

Just think: you’ll never have to move, socialize or even talk to your wife again! Thanks, uncrate.

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 30, 2009 9:32 pm

    It doesn’t necessarily ensure a heart attack.

    That person could very well have a treadmill set up in front of the entertainment center.

    Unlikely, but possible.

    (Although the keg, cigars, and wine make much less likely…)

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