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Avrin and I are bad Wii-ers

July 1, 2009
Kotaku: the aggregator of bad news

Kotaku: the aggregator of bad news

Occasionally, I like to read other blogs. Kotaku, the Gawker of video games, just updated their research into the most-played games on Nintendo’s motion-controlled time-gobbler. Avrin and I, who have owned a Wii (well, he owns it, but I play it when he sleeps) for going on two years now, are apparently way behind the times. I know that our three favorite games to play together are Mario Sluggers, Wii Sports (at least until the new one comes out), and Smash Bros. Brawl (if we use Gamecube controllers). I also know that his favorite game to play alone is Excite Truck, and mine is FIFA ’09. While I believe that no-one is too old to own a Wii (my mom just bought one in May – her first console since Pong came out, I think), I’m worried that we may have finally broken through that glass ceiling of demographics, where we are no longer Nintendo’s target market.

I used to subscribe to the now-defunct N64 Magazine, whose readers were always complaining about the lack of ‘adult’ games on their system – none of the thinly-veiled softcore porn and gore that was on the competing Playstation. The cutesy factor of Nintendo’s consoles became even more apparent with the GameCube, which even looked like a Fisher Price toy. This never particularly bothered me, as Nintendo’s catalogue continued to be full of games that were engaging and enjoyable with friends, especially now that there have been eight Mario Parties. But Kotaku’s list is full of games I’ve never heard of (“Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn” sounds like a show on Cartoon Network, crossed with a Steven Seagal movie), and ones that would have enthralled me at age nine – the duo of “Animal Crossing” and “Harvest Moon” would have been all I needed to want to become a zoologist when I grew up. Then there’s some Zelda and war games (some things never change for Nintendo) and a few games where you can pretend to play an instrument in front of a pretend crowd. I might as well start going back to open-mics if I wanted this experience. Beyond one game where Nintendo characters try to kill each other (I’m not saying “Brawl” isn’t fun, though), there’s hardly any old-school Nintendo-branded tomfoolery on this list, and that makes me sad. I think my childhood has finally ended, at age 22. Now I’m going to go plug in my SNES and play some Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. Or just read this list over and over.

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